![]() It's a normal reaction to a devastating situation that can coexist with the comfort of one’s faith and spirituality.įaith communities should be a place of comfort and support in times of loss. Thankfully, for many they are. But, the longer I work with grievers, the more I learn that not every faith community brings this support. In fact, some bring judgment and criticism for the emotions of grief, fixating on the idea that grief and faith cannot coexist. This leaves grievers feeling as though their grief has been minimized or misunderstood. Furthermore, a person can believe in a greater plan-all while still experiencing the pain of absence. It's not selfish to grieve, and it's definitely not a loss of faith. ![]() It's perfectly reasonable for someone to believe that their loved one is in a better place, and still to feel overwhelmed with the pain of being separated from them. When a person of deep faith loses someone, it's important to remember that grief is about their own experience of loss. Let me say it one more time: Experiencing grief DOES NOT indicate a loss of faith. What we are here to say, for all of you who have felt that their faith should be enough to eliminate their grief is this:Įxperiencing grief DOES NOT indicate a loss of faith. It's that you must remember that the depth of your grief does not imply a loss of faith. The problem with the statement “Those who believe need not grieve” is that one is made to feel that the reverse must be true: Those who do grieve do not believe. It is not that your grief and your faith should be separate. When someone we love is gone, we feel the dozens of emotions that come with grief: sadness, anger, guilt, fear, loneliness, blame, and more than I can possibly list. Though faith that someone is in a better place or that you will see them again can be a comfort, this does not remove the pain that the person is gone. It does not change the trauma that can come from watching someone suffer from a prolonged or painful illness. This does not eliminate the anger, blame, guilt, regret, or countless other feelings that can come up following a death. ![]() Grief is our natural reaction to a loss. We feel a deep and aching pain when someone we love is no longer with us. What becomes complicated is when one internalizes these quotes and starts to feel that the depth of their grief is somehow reflective of their faith. This can leave believers questioning why they are still feeling the pain of grief when someone they love is now with God. I have absolutely no doubt that-in nearly every case the expression ‘Those who believe need not grieve’ is uttered-it is with the best of intentions. Just like, “He's in a better place” or “It's all part of God’s plan," these platitudes are shared with the hope that they will bring comfort to the griever. (There's a separate discussion to be had about those who grieve without belief in God or an afterlife, but that is a post for another day!) and our faith can confuse feelings about our grief. Religion and spirituality are complex but important topics in the wake of a loss. Religion can be an incredible comfort in times of loss. But losses can also cause us to question our faith, as we struggle to make sense of the death. And, in cases like the quote above, grief can confuse our feelings about our faith. ![]() Regardless of where this phrase came from, its oversimplification of grief and faith can undoubtedly cause pain to grievers and, hence, is worth a post. “Those who have attained to faith, as well as those who follow the Jewish faith, and the Christians, and the Sabians-all who believe in God and the Last Day and do righteous deeds-shall have their reward with their Sustainer and no fear need they have, and neither shall they grieve.” In the Qu'ran we find the similar passage: ![]() “Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.” I was considering what the source of this anecdote might be, and it seems it could be connected to the Bible passage 1 Thessalonians 4:13: Needless to say, they have been feeling some frustration and conflict about this comment. I have had several people tell me recently that well-intentioned friends and pastors have thrown a little quip at them when they are grieving, aimed at helping them 'move on.' ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |